Asthma

4:37 a.m. my eyes open and my hand rushes to my chest. 

I roll over and tap Bryan in a very calm manner. He looks at me and knows. He’s been dealing with this for the 2 & a half years we’ve been together. 

He carries me to the car, puts the hazard lights on and heads to the hospital. 

My lungs hurt. I feel them pounding in my chest begging me for air. I can’t talk, I can’t cry, I feel frozen with fear. For you never really know, will we make it in time? What song was on the radio? Has it really only been 2 minutes since we left? 

After having asthma my whole life, it’s amazing how it still takes you by suprise and scares you to death. 

We arrive. Breathing treatment, steroid shot, chest X-ray, oxygen. Same thing every time. I can breath again, my lungs are exhausted, my body feels like jello. But I can breath again. To God be the glory, time to go home and rest for now. 

But I’ll be back. I always have to come back. 

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